It was during one of the Raya Open Houses that my parents hosted when this Uncle came to me and said “Apalah you ni, lambat sangat!” I didn’t know what he was talking about until I saw my pregnant sister deep in conversation with his heavily pregnant wife behind him. Oh, it must be bizarre to him that an older sister who got married earlier than the younger sister lets her younger sister to be ahead in the ‘Who produces the first grandchild’ race, huh?
Yupp! When my baby sister first announced that she was pregnant after only 3 months of being married, I actually trembled! I was flooded with all sorts of emotions! First, I was afraid of my sister having to go through all the pregnancy symptoms and not forgetting the delivery of the baby itself – how my mother used to say ‘It’s a battle of life and death when you’re in the labour room tau!’ I was actually afraid that I might lose my only sister in the process of gaining a new niece / nephew! Secondly, I kinda felt ashamed thinking about how others will view me as a failure!!
After my sister's 1st trimester, I stopped being scared for her because she 'expanded' gracefully and to me, she was one of the healthiest and most active pregnant ladies around! However, it took me a while to stop feeling such a loser because everyone; neighbours, friends, neighbours' friends, aunties' friends (Malaysians are very good at putting their noses in other people's problems) never failed to share their concerns towards me. Oh boy, you name it, they are very concerned towards you and their comments include things like, "Masih berdua ke, bila nak bertiga nih?", "Oooh, I'm so sorry for you, have you seen the doctor?", "Esh, esh, tak baik merancang macam ni!", "Hey, when you 'do' it, don't think too much of wanting to have kids, just enjoy it lah!", "Apalah you nih, why lah you let your sis have kids first? Tak malu ke?"
Tell me how would you react when things like that are said to you? I used to feel so down and even cried my eyes out but then again I thought, hey, it's my life! To hell what others wanna say! I chose to be like this. I have seen the doctor, I do enjoy it when I 'do' it, No, I'm not ashamed of letting my sis to have kids first, I love her kids, I adore those cuties pies!!! For me and hubby, regardless of what others say, we know 'what', 'how' and 'why' we do it. It's just a matter of 'when' we'll have kids, that's all. And yeah, you can't control what others say. They have the rights to say anything and everything to you. It's how you face, 'telan' or 'tepis' what they say. Malaysians are very caring towards everybody sebenarnya you know!! ;)
Oooh, my appointment with the gynae is on soon, better get it jotted down in my organizer :)