Tuesday, June 01, 2010

Hope


There was definitely a big lump in my throat when I watched the season finale of Giuliana and Bill (G & B) last week..It was all from trying hard not to cry because I think the episode was pretty heartbreaking. Or it was just me being too sensitive and mushy?

After weeks of waiting whether G's preggers following the IUI procedure, the doctor broke the news that it was negative. G was seriously upset after trying to be so positive before that. Masa tulah I was like almost cried. G and B then went to another fertility doctor to find out more on IVF. The doc educated them about the success rates and the details of the procedure, which involves a lot of needles and sounds scary. They both then decided that it's a lot to think about, and they were going to get away to think things through. Both finally admitted that they're scared and unsure of IVF. G told B that she didn’t think she could put her body through that. It has been such an emotional rollercoaster them. That's where it ended. To be continued next season..

Hmmm..terbayang-bayang how it would be like for us nanti when Hubby and me embark on our IVF procedure.The needles, the side effects of all the injections. Imagine they said it's gonna be PMS and time it with 100! Frankenstein lah I jadinya! The hope, the anxiety etc.

I met up with my besties for dinner recently and I told them I seriously don't know how I should feel. Yes, I am hopeful that the IVF works and at the same time I can't deny that I could hear voices in my head saying that it could fail. Hubby consoled me that we know what the success rates are and semuanya is in the hands of the Almighty. But what is more important is that we try. And we are getting the blessings and support from our families. So, if you're 60 years old later and still childless, you won't regret it coz you've tried. Be hopeful but be prepared for the worst. But never, never admit defeat before you try cos you're already losing the battle even before it starts. Never stop amalan and berdoa. My besties even suggested that I read the book 'The Secret'. I've heard about how wonderful the book is but never felt the urge to pick it up in the bookstore. Maybe, I should buy it for my in-flight reading to South Africa nanti kan? What do you think?

15 comments:

ERMAYUM said...

yeah at least u try dear - i pray that it will be sucessful for you- kat office ni ada gak kawan jepun i berjaya - 2 kawan cina tak berjaya - but again kuasa Allah - pada DIA sahaja kita minta - insyaAllah

:: tush :: said...

Ms Jab..hehe suka2 je panggil..wish u the best of luck!

screamingmommy said...

Beb, when I watched that particular season finale, I was thinking about you. I can imagine when G mentioned about how strong physically and mentally in order to start IVF. InsyaAllah you'll be fine..I strongly believe you are stronger and determined compared to G...so her dilemma I assumed you dont have it? As for "the secret" yesss...I totally agree you have to read it..it works wonders on me and my hubby..we totally believe it..perhaps if I have time I'll review the book later in my blog:)

Lady of Leisure said...

dalam flight i jarang baca buku sebab i mudah pening, i think its a good idea to read book on a long haul punya flight kan..... get the book, hehe boleh baca on yr flight nanti..

Jabberholic said...

Ermayum : Thanks dear. Praying for the best.

tush : Thanks dear. And thanks for swinging by!

screamingmommy : Thanks dear. Sebak I baca your comments. Am touched. Looking forward for your review of the book ;)

Lady of Leisure : Thanks dear. Will go get the book soon.

sue said...

Hello, I concieved via IUI, i am now 10 weeks pregnant and counting lol,

Its not easy especially when you are jabbing urself, the first time i injected myself i cried buckets sedih, its so easy for others, WHY me?????? the weight gain, the mood swings jangan tanya la.

can i just share some tips that helped me to conceive, please note that I am not boasting I hust want to help another woman to conceive, pls e-mail me at surin76@gmail.com, I also purchased an e-book on pregnancy and i dont mind sharing the link with you,

Another important tip is to take Blacmore's pre conception supplements I think that helped me, it has all the necessary vitamins thats essential for the body

Good luck, have faith and DONT stop praying its a long rocky road but there is a light at the end of the tunnel :-)

Jabberholic said...

Sue : Thanks loads for swinging by and the valuable tips and info. Highly appreciate it. Will definitely keep in touch with ya. It's really good to hear it from someone who's been there and done that! Thanks again Sue!

sue said...

ermm babes I am not a muslim so i am not sure if you are OK with that, I forgot to state that as some women are sensitive and dont intend to offend anyone ;-)

Jabberholic said...

Sue ; Dear, I have no qualms at all whether you're Muslim or not..My besties are from all races..Like they say, kita kan 1 Malaysia ;)

Yummy Mummy said...

Ms J, the only time I get to read is when I travel, it sounds like a good read, I pun dah jadi intrigued jugak sebab SM pun kata best. Thanks for the info. And when you go through your IVF, will be sending you virtual good vibes and doas, semoga semuanya dipermudahkan, amin.

Jabberholic said...

Yummy Mummy : Many thanks dear. Am touched with all of your 'virtual' support..Aminnn..

:: LadyVerde + Mr.Doc :: said...

we've gone thru one cycle of IVF 2 years back...
unfortunately belom ade rezeki...

what u heard g was saying is totally true!!!...i cried myself bucket watching it coz it reminds me of mine...

but for me not so much of physical aspect...not the time, energy and money we spent on...
the jab for me kire ok (note that im one of the highest dosage needed patient ;p so i need to jab myself 3 times a day! maybe dah determine nak buat so it forced me naturally to not be afraid of needle n the pain)...

but its more on emotionally...

thru the process i kept saying that im strong both physically n mentally...
mr.doc, families friends sume kate be strong what ever result pon redha...
but mannnnnn i wasnt that strong to manage my emotion the second the doctor announce the result ;(

i totally wasnt myself for about 1month!
i know i shouldnt be but the FRUSTRATION tue yg tak boley tahan...atlaest for me...

mase tue i was thinking "doctor said that IVF was the last resort...since i failed mine, what else do i have!"

even few weeks after that my handbag kene curi pon i tak rase ape2 coz the frustration failing the IVF beats em all!

its a big decision babe...
its easy for others to advice...to be strong in all aspect, but at the end u urself need to know how to manage it if things doesnt fall as plan...
just pray n dua the best from HIM :)

all the best dollie!

Jabberholic said...

LadyVerde : Many thanks for your comments and sharing your side of the story..Truly, truly appreciate it..So sorry it didn't work out for you both last 2 years..It is seriously a big decision for us..Been psyching myself and hubby up for the process..Like you said, we dunno how it will turn out for the both of us nanti..As much as I'm trying to stay positive throughout, hanya Allah yang tahu jawapannya nanti..And I surely hope we both will be able to cope with the process as well as what happens at the end of the process nanti..Again, thanks loads dearie for the kind wishes and I would say support from you..Cheers love!

Leila Daniel said...

aloo lama tak baca ur blog...looks like u wanna try IVF..good! never stop trying n praying..if modern medicine fails, like i suggested b4 do try alternative medicine like islamic medicine.

alhamdulilah i am preggy now...18 weeks dah :)..i'll pray for you n your family. do join group/forum/facebook of my dr. Dr hamid arshad. A lot of strong women like you there helping each other spiritually n mentally..

Jabberholic said...

Leila : Hi!!!!! Long time no 'see' :) Thanks for dropping by..CONGRATULATIONS!!!! Great to hear that u're expecting now..Alhamdulillah! Hope all goes well for u! Will definitely check ur forum out..Take care dear!